Talk:BootyCall/@comment-3575890-20151229173742
What's with the demonizing of women who go back to their cheating significant others? Yes, from a logical stgandpoint, it seems foolish and self-destructive. But instead of adding onto these women's insecurities and feelings of worthlessness, how about have a little sympathy? Almost every woman has been in that boat once in their life, myself included. It's not even that you consciously go into the relationship knowing what you're getting yourself into. It's wanting to believe the best in that person because you want it to work out so badly and seeing them through rose-coloured vision until you can't pretend any longer. Even if the red flags and signs begin to arise, it's the denial based upon a deep and irrational love that steamrolls over any semblance of ability to accept the truth. Personally, I'm a one strike and you're out kind of girl. I don't put up with bullshit. But I also love very intensely and unconditionally. I don't give up on people easily. I do, however, have my dealbreakers and cheating is one of my most profound. It's an act I would refuse to ever forgive. I would never take back a cheater, but I understand girls that do because it's ingrained in the same ideology as what I've just painted a picture of above: you want to believe the best in the person and you want it to work out more than you're willing to put aside your ideologies and accept the harshness of the reality of the situation, which is that he is a cheating, lying piece of shit. Women who are cheated on are vulnerable and twice as susceptible to being manipulated and played again. This is why so many women take back their cheating s/o's. They want to believe the next time will be different because they love that person more than they love themselves, and in turn, their lovers strike when the iron is hot. When they're vulnerable and desperate for reconciliation. They butter them up until they believe it won't happen again. Some women even in fact, are filled with so much insecurity and self-loathing that they believe they need the other person to be whole. That it's better to be cheated on and lied to than be without them. That however is on a whole other level of problems that transcend beyond just relationship issues. These women are not weak and pathetic. They are damaged and broken. Now I can't say I've ever been that girl. I recognize my worth and refuse to settle for less than I deserve, but I also have been blinded by love before. You'd be surprised how easily it happens when you love somebody. What I have learned though is that love is not always enough, and essentially worthless if it's not accompanied by respect, trust, honesty, and understanding. It's easy to love, but it takes more than love to hold a relationship together. This is why once I take the rose-coloured goggles off the first time, I never put them back on again. When the trust is broken or the respect is gone, I'm not going to fight to salvage it. Your mistake, your bed to lie in..alone. One chance, one strike, and you're out. Life is too short to put up with other people's bullshit. If you're a cheating scumbag, I'm not sticking around to see if you'll change because frankly it doesn't matter to me. I'll no longer want you. And if I've been fooled by you I refuse to take responsibility for your shitty actions just because I chose to believe the good in you and gave you the chance to do good by me.